9 more days to go: Christmas blues


I guess it's harder to wait. It's harder than I could imagine. 
To see everyone come alone and go with someone. I can never barely tell if I can also be in that position. Because, my future is a mystery. I cannot see and feel how it will be. I am not sure if it can be the best for me. I can only see darkness through and I'll never know how it will be going. I took the risk to wait. To think waiting is hoping, that I fear for the days spent in despair will be wasted. What is more painful is to see yourself accept that you will be on your own, with no strings attached to. In the future, it might be like this and I'll never know. It's funny. I don't understand why I long. I don't know the reason why I'm longing. Perhaps, this is just part of growing up.




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